mrs. singh inaction

my cousin amie just arrived in africa to teach english to children (and teachers) in tanzania. don't ask me what they're gonna use the english for in tanzania. she wrote home to describe her experience in africa after reading it, i was reminded of a very very important thing that everyone should be reminded of: AFRICA IS BIG.

get ready for a jag. here it comes. i have a map of the u.s. up in my office that my parents sent (from AAA. known as AA here. ever notice that "alcoholics anonymous" is just one letter from the "automobile association of america"?). after work bridget and ramona were looking at it with me and ramona remarked that the united states is big. yes it is. it's bigger than south africa by a significant factor but it's a lot smaller than the entire continent of africa. i know i'm stating the obvious but let's look at what might not be so obvious.

unlike the united states one doesn't hop in the car and take a road trip to north africa. south africa has an "interstate" road system but it hasn't been around for as long as the united states'. my road trip with gavin where we covered something like 7 or 8 states in 10 days (ski trip included) highlighted the fact that the u.s. road system is one of american cold-war philosophy; be able to get anywhere in a hurry in the event of commie invasion. two lane and four lane roads will get you anywhere you want and if you have a navigator with a map, you can cut corners saving scores of miles on a trip.

on the other hand, south africa's national road system is still growing but is well behind demand. perhaps partially because of a lack of anticipation of the majority of the population ever owning vehicles. many people can point to the national roads (two to three lanes each direction) and point to a winding one lane each direction road and talk about getting stuck behind a long-haul trucker going 60kph and being unable to pass the whole trip. so it's improving (that's what i'm doing for a living here) but this is just south africa and bear in mind that south africa is the most developed country in the whole southern half and one the most, if not the most, including the top of the continent. so what you get here, isn't the standard. federal tax revenue from california can potentially fund projects in montana. do you think south africa is throwing money at problems in sudan?

so back to the thesis of this retarded jag... south africa is not only a hell of a lot bigger than the country of the united states, but it's not an interconnected network of roads, governments and economies. amie wrote in her email about the travel time that it required to get to her destination. small planes, small roads, unreliable vehicles... you name an ingredient that would cause slow travel and you'll find it when you try to visit an "off-the-beaten-path" destination in africa. anyone that's taken a road trip in a road-hugging, tight-suspension honda s2000 knows that the u.s. caters to off-the-beaten-path travelers with well paved roads. leave the sports cars at home if you want to see south africa.

next on the list of not-so-obvious things about africa is that, due to its size, africa has as much diversity in its landscapes as the united states. i'm finally taking the time to write about this subject because it's become glaringly obvious and, to be honest, a little frustrating. i honestly do wish that it were easier to go adventurin'. i haven't walked through any jungle where i thought i might see tarzan swing by yet.

the source of this concern is that i'm beginning to look at the country through the eyes of any of you who might come visit in 2010 for the world cup. the prefix "south" in "south africa" does belong. it truly is a modifier to its noun africa. some parts are so different from mainstream perceptions of africa that they even resemble parts of the united states. the differences are subtle to vacationers but become clear the longer you stay here.

point in case being this last weekend. snow fell only 30 to 60 minutes from here. just days later (and days before) it was shorts weather. warm winds and blue skies. it fell at the beginning of the week and i was determined to blow the minds of all the americans reading this blog by posting a picture of me making a snow angel (in july) a week after walking on the beachfront in durban. the picture to the left (if you click on it) shows a teensie bit of snow in the mountains. three months ago maritzburg was in a heat wave and only one month ago i was running the air con to keep cool in my office.

the snow fell all over eastern south africa at elevations reached just outside town. by saturday (our days are very short right now) much of the snow had melted but i was hell-bent to get to the snow. but there was a problem. joelene and i broke up thursday and she had been serving as my brains for the past two months (if you're more interested in the drama of my dating life than the drama of south africa versus the united states, i'll go into a little more detail of the breakup in about one paragraph). so i was without a navigator. the result was me just pointing my car at the snow and driving. i hit dirt roads that would result in dead ends and never managed to get there. i wrapped up the day by grabbing a cheddar sausage and roll at a little family-run restaurant called "gunther's" in the midlands. i was again the only patron and again alone so gunther and his wife and i talked. he moved here from germany to get away from his military education and worked in transportation for awhile but eventually just settled in the midlands and bought an amazing piece of property and turned it into a restaurant.

i apologized for eating slowly and keeping them from closing up shop but i guess they live there so no biggie eh? gunther said he was taught to analyze potential employees based on how they eat. i asked what a slow eater such as myself meant and he said it meant i was "full of sorrow". here i was thinking i chewed and talked too much. it made me sad to realize how sad i ate.

maybe i should smoke some marijuana to lose my sorrow cuz i eat faster when i'm high.

so for those of you following my dating life in africa, here's the whole enchilada. i should start at the beginning because that's where the end started. our first couple of dates were great but, if you remember, a text-message mix up led to both of us thinking the other person wasn't interested. as you may know, i shrugged and reluctantly moved on and started gaylene. when joelene contacted me i told her that i had moved on and regretted doing so but wasn't the type of guy to just break up with gaylene the day after 'getting serious' with her because someone else came into the picture. so ten days later, i broke up with gaylene because joelene might have been back in the picture. crazy part was that naturally joelene had accumulated a list of admirers and, just like i had, had contacted them about getting serious. get ready for a little culture shock or whatever... while i had been having awkward and unsatisfying sex with my next in line, joelene had been proposed to by hers. man #2 had offered up a marriage of convenience that she didn't have to decide on until her birthday at the end of june. that was two months off at the time. add to the ticking of that clock a biological clock ticking like the one in the croc's stomach in neverland, joelene was seriously ready to settle down.

for selfish reasons, i wanted joelene all to myself. like i said, i knew she could serve as my tour guide and brains. that and if you've seen pictures of her you'll know another reason i wanted to spend time with her. when joelene and i got "serious", by which i mean keeping a toothbrush at her place, this put a strain on phone calls from man #2 (not to mention her other admirers) who was calling to say "hi" and check in. after less than a week she came clean and broke off the engagement. the bloke took it well. i expected profanity but the guy was upstanding.

again, i was with joelene for selfish reasons. i knew she was what i was looking for while i was in south africa but joelene wanted something i couldn't give her which was a serious serious commitment and if i were to give it to her i was under the gun to match this other guy's offer. i was never the type to rush into a commitment and after get burned by shannon in the marriage, i'm really making sure i move slowly and cautiously. in the beginning joelene wondered aloud quite often why we were together if we weren't going to stay together. i asked her to give me three months of not taking it day by day but just letting down her hair and enjoying the moment. a relationship with an expiration date is always lucky to make it that long and naturally last week we fell one month shy of our three month re-evaluation period.

what doomed us was pretty simple. joelene expected me to be perfect and when i wasn't it caused serious problems. to be fair to her, joelene lived up to her own standards of perfection. the only problem she had was that she really let every little mistake i made get to her. the break up came after a great night with one misunderstanding that was allowed to ruin the whole thing. it came two days before her birthday... remember that's when man #2 was to come visit (he never changed his plans) to hear her response. for all i know, she said said "yes" and they're getting married sometime in the next six months or less. i felt bad for keeping her to myself while we were together and potentially keeping her from true happiness but now i feel even worse. not because i think she's making a mistake but because the whole thing is holding up a mirror to myself. i failed to make a snow angel and today rhona (a coworker that i introduced to her and is now bosom buddies with her) showed me pictures of mrs. singh playing in the snow...

another kick in the gut came when grant told me that tickets to the big horse race in durban this weekend that i've been looking forward to since i got here is sold out. joelene bought two tickets but odds are i'm not getting one anymore. oh well. the feeling of loneliness is just magnified by losing the closest thing i had to a friend so far. i pity the next person to come along that i'll have to latch onto to see the sights.

on a related subject, tomorrow is virgilio's last day at bcp's maritzburg office before he ships off to richard's bay, about 2 to 3 hours up the coast from here. he'll be closer to his home country of mozambiqe.

ten points if you read all this. we'll chalk this entry up to catharsis rather than trying to serve as informative.

Thee Strikes and You're Out (of Luck)

those of you in the know may already know south africa is going through a public sector strike. public workers differ here in some ways from back in the states. they're also the same in many ways. here in south africa, some hospitals operate under the government as do schools. so a strike not only sends children home requiring their parents to stay home with them but it cripples hospitals. and not to disparage africa's public sector but i'm not going out on a limb when i say that the public sector wasn't doing so hot to start with. the post office queues are like watching the grass grow. car registration already had a backup of months with cars sitting on lots, sold but unable to be given to their owners.

in slow stages, more and more of the public workers are striking demanding a 12% pay increase to account for inflation. the government only wants to pay out 6%. at one point the offer went up to 7%. no dice.

one thing i haven't spoken about enough is that protests are not uncommon in this country. lots of frustration leads to lots of protesting and the protests are on the news frequently. while in the states, protests involve angrily waving pickets, angrily walking in circles, and angrily shouting through loudspeakers, protests here have dancing. it's called "toi-toi-ing" and it has moves and songs that go along with it. so it's kind of a different feel.

but that's only when things are going well. when things go worse, it goes way worse.

the resentment that has formed between public workers that strike and those who don't has resulted in an almost irish-factory-worker-esque "don't cross the picket line" mentality. some striking teachers and workers are going to work and beating up those that are working. one hospital had its drains blocked and then faucets left on to flood the place. tragically counterproductive.

last week the koombi drives (not in the public sector) striked in sympathy. this left kitchens unstaffed all over kwazulu-natal. 90% of restaurants have stayed closed or closed early.

next week things may get worse. police haven't joined the strike but they've threatened to join in eventually if the 12% isn't met soon. so far, the military has stepped in to try to help out in hospitals where nurses are providing only a skeleton crew. but the military (i've heard) wants an 18% pay hike... so if the cops walk, who knows what will happen. i think nobody expects it to go that far. BUT. one thing i picked up on quickly here is that a lot of people believe that the government is sitting on piles of cash. with such a high tax-rate, they argue, where is all the money going? bear in mind, south africa doesn't have the borrowing power that the united states has. we don't print our own money here. the world cup has allowed south africa a lot of leeway but it only goes so far as people believe in their investment. a nation of striking workers demanding what their government can't give them... well you do the math.

the difference in people is exemplified by the scene as well. the public sector is largely black while the private sector... else. striking never occurred under the "old" government and it highlights shortcomings of the current government and even the direction of the country. others just don't understand why the government won't give it's people the raise necessitated by inflation.

one last thought. the inflation is caused by rising oil prices. rising oil prices which are being caused by a war in iraq headed by the united states. the cause and effect relationship isn't talked about as such here. or at least i haven't heard it yet.

Let's Beer It for Here!

joelene's been sick so i've had some time to myself. i figured i need to go out to the midlands to stock up on flavored coffees and so i did. the place that sells the flavored coffee is called 'the wine cellar' and it's tucked away pretty deep towards the end of the meander. i should take a picture of this place because it's so cozy. wine bottles EVERYWHERE many just going bad (or "going off" as they would say here).

the "i should take a picture" thing brings me to my first tangent. it took me two weeks but i've managed to place an order for a new cell phone. one with a camera. a 3.2 megapixel camera to be exact so the days of me forgetting my camera shall soon be over. getting my hands on a good camera was quite an ordeal. unlike in the states where you walk into a store and walk out with a phone 30 minutes later, here, no matter who you are, you need to provide a copy of your lease agreement or proof of residence as well as three months bank statements. no exceptions. now i can understand how people can walk in from some township, get a phone and disappear and never make their payments again but it is harder to get a phone than it is to buy a car. and here's a quote from a phone salesman: "a phone is easier to take out of the country". does everyone understand that one? good. vodocom wasn't satisfied that i had a letter hand-signed by one of my personal bankers at redlands saying, he hasn't been banking for three months but he's a on ok bloke. mtn didn't like that my work visa would expire before my 24 month contract would be up (in fact, they couldn't even figure out my work visa at first). so i've ordered the phone through my company. they'll deduct the bill from my paycheck. now i just sit and wait. expect to be inundated with pictures... until i'm robbed and lose the phone.


i bought a bottle of port and... 9 bottles of begian beer! after 3 months, i've finally found belgian beer. let's talk beer.

the beers that run the show here are 'heineken' (pilsner), 'caslte' (lager), 'hansa' (pilsner) and 'carling black label' (lager). now, similar to "mum deoderant" and "lux soap", carling black label is a product i'm familiar with thanks to my time with old time radio. it's not really popular in the states but the english love it so it sells here.

i'm not exactly sure how it all works but i think there's a little problem with south african breweries buying out other breweries and smothering the competition. i think hansa had leased the rights to brew heineken here but now heineken has pulled the contract saying that hansa is getting too big because of this deal. on a side note, namibia brews a 'windhoek' lager that isn't hard to find. but it's all megabrewed. so for the first many weeks here it was all lager and pilsner unless i bought something from the one local brewery (about a 30 minute drive from here) nottingham road brewery. they make a brown ale (whistling weasel) that is rich in flavor. tastes like home. few people believe that in the usa there is a huge selection of ales. nottingham road also makes a stout as does castle (milk stout). both are 7s out of 10 compared to guinness and mackeson being 10s and 11s. nottingham road only makes four beers typically. they had a pink beer i've heard last year and they commonly will come out with a fifth beer for a couple months... baited breath.

at the last company month-end drinks and dinner, kevin, who was in charge of beer couldn't find any heineken (due to that licensing problem) so he grabbed a bunch of tall 'bavaria' cans. the only wheat beer so far that i've found in this country modeled after the german style of brewing but made here in south africa. so that made me a little happier even though i've never been nuts for weisens.

but today i found three types of belgian beers at the wine cellar. duvel with it's requisite high alcohol level and two others; a golden and a brown. not cheap. they not only would cost less in the states but this duvel isn't the quality of belgian beer that you can get at trader joe's. sigh... this duvel doesn't have any yeast in the bottle so no master pour to show off to my friends. i've already taken the bottle to boozies the local liquor store across the street to say "get this beer here!". they must think the world of me there.

i also bought a bottle of south african port. here's the itemized receipt: 5 duvels. 4 other belgian beers, 750grams of gourmet coffee and a bottle of quality port. "see you next week" i said as i left.

this little mom and pops store has people walking out with multiple boxes of wine and booze. amazing. it's getting cold in south africa so this is one way to stay warm eh? it's now sunday evening and i've just cracked one of the duvels. very very good stuff. very creamy head on it, with the sweet very belgian flavor. not as good as the two beers that you can get at trader joes but i'm very happy still.

after leaving the wine cellar i stopped in at 'gunthers'. a small german eatery on a hillside overlooking some of the midlands rolling hills. the menu includes german sausages served on a roll with potatoes. i got a cheese sausage and spoke with the owner, gunther. he was in germany for world cup. we spoke about the night and day differences between germany and south africa. trains that run on time without interruption versus south africa's lack of a train system (or public transportation for that matter). gunther used to work in south africa's transport planning or something and he spoke to me extensively about suggestions he had for fixing the transportation problem in joburg and all of south africa. i had to explain that my job consists of design and not planning. it took me 1,5 hours to finish just the sausage and as i left a couple showed up and ordered 7 sausages between the two of them.

in other news, the public workers here are still striking demanding a 12% pay increase. whilst the upper-eschelon officials are giving themselves larger pay increases, they argue there's not enough money for the 12% raises. they did offer 6.5% but it was rejected. whilst there are plenty of similarities between the usa and s.a., the differences leap out at you during a worker strike. the strikers include teachers as well as the nurses at government run hospitals. deaths have been recorded due to lack of hospital workers and some people are losing sympathy for the strikers. also schools are closed and bridgit has brought her son to work the past couple of days. here's where south africa acts a little different from the usa (and more like ireland) with its strikes. here, teachers that are striking are going to work... to beat up teachers that aren't striking. the strike gets extra momentum when people are afraid to not strike.

also, i had a thought today: this country is renaming many of its streets to reflect its african pride / government. problem is the previous white government that named the streets previously had a serious lack of imagination. when someone gives you directions, the street names in howick can also be found in maritzburg and even durban (remember durban has 5 umgeni roads). so the result is directions that make you want to kill yourself. maps either don't have the street names people are giving you or worse the street signs don't match your map. also, it's not like the new government is renaming the ENTIRE street. in some case, just a few blocks get renamed. street names that change several times without you making a turn is not uncommon.

OR

today, in howick i took a right turn from "link road" onto a street called "hayfields road" (why name a street after a neighboring town?!). the street took a little loop and ended back up on itself. here's the crazy part: i did a u-turn and instead of finding myself on "hayfields road" again, i was on "tweedy road". address numbers started at 1 but before they even got to 4, the street took a little left turn and address numbers started at 1 again as the street name changed to "hyslop road". note that "hyslop road" also exists in maritzburg as does "link road".

so that's my story about roads. my new cell phone is gps enabled should i decide that i should shell out for the software. as i venture further out of pmb, i'll consider the option more feasible.

ok, tomorrow i'm gonna run to work for the second time tomorrow morning. hopefully a faster time this time... wish me luck and pray for my knees.

to wrap up, word got out in the office about my blog about my office. i never expected anyone in south africa to spend the time reading about my time in south africa... live and learn. maybe i now have some explaining to do? hopefully nobody found anything too scandalous or disagreeable in there.

as always, stay tuned for future drama!

I Bollywood If I Could (Sari About the Pillai on Words)

well thanks to joelene, i've come across another gem of south africa. the gem: indian theater. up until last weekend, my only serious exposure (not counting eating dinner at 'falafal house' in downtown s.c.) to bollywood or indian music videos was the episode of the simpsons where abu stays with the simpsons.

that all changed dramatically this last weekend. y'see, joelene's position as p.a. to the ceo of umgeni water gets her all kinds of perks. umgeni water has boxes at all the sports stadia in durban and she's always being given tickets to shows. this time she took them, we hopped in my car and off we went to durban.

at dinner beforehand, i learned what i already knew. i can't eat spicy food. everyone in this country must grow up nursing off of a chilli pepper or something because nothing fazes the indian population around here and the sauces are created accordingly. this chain, "mugg & bean", had four sauces and joelene just put the hottest one on her french fries (chips) like it was ketchup (tomato paste). i had one fry and couldn't eat for five minutes. it hurt to breath.

before the show, we waited in the foyer and i played one of my favorite games, "find a white person", while i sat with joelene and slowly sipped my second jack daniels on the rocks in 15 minutes. why the sudden interest in booze? the synopsis made me do it: something like, "when the star of the show quits a week before opening night, the director must find a replacement. but the replacement is inexperienced so the director insists he must attend a film and acting school first." the plot turned out to be totally irrelevant. the whole thing was a vehicle for everyone to lip-sync and dance along to famous bollywood songs. the dancing was AMAZING. hours and hours of it, all of the indian hand-thingy style. the costumes were constantly changing and that was the show's one hiccup. instead of having one or two people come out and dance while everyone else was changing, they'd have dialogue. i might be the only one complaining though seeing as i might've been the only one who didn't get the impersonations of all the famous bollywood actors. the film ended where the whole school sequence was just a dream he had after falling asleep the moment after having the conversation about going to attend "famous film school". i think. it was complicated.

one last thing to comment on was that the cast was mixed. it had several black women and men and even a white girl. regardless of skin color, almost all of them at one point had to lip-sync the words of some of the songs in hindi. but while they could all do the indian style moves, make no mistake, it was the indian girls (and guys) who could really really move their feet and hands. anyone that comes here has to experience one of these shows.

30 Years Old In South Africa. I Don't See Black or White, Just Grays...

the medication did the trick and i'm fully recovered from my bout with tonsillitis. don't be fooled, just because it has the word "lite" in it, doesn't mean it's like drinking a cool glass of crystal lite. no! it's pure hell. like drinking a glass of lite beer.

and now about the exciting birthday weekend that just ended. i had three tickets to see pirates of the caribbean part 3. they were for virgillio, me and joelene. joelene, if you remember, is the second date i had on matchmaker.com here. we had a great time together but after our second date i didn't hear a peep from her and moved along reluctantly. since then, we've fallen back into contact and decided to give it another shot to see what we could find together.

on the way to an architect's office friday morning i passed an italian restaurant, "pesto", and decided i should go there first chance. i called and made reservations for joelene and i for 1830 that night before the 2100 film. unfortunately i got stuck at work, drinking beer and arguing about the corialis effect, during bcp's end-of-the-month dinner and drinks so we didn't make it to the restaurant until 1915 (it wasn't ENTIRELY my fault though). the food was as close to home as i've found anywhere in s.a. so far. long story short, we were so late for the film that they oversold the small theater and we had to leave with only a cash refund for the film. virgillio wasn't very pleased with me. a coworker rhona had met up with him, and the four of us went to play some pool (don't call it "billiards" here). rhona and joelene hit it off in classic style and after the bars closed (at 2300 here) they decided that we should go get some bottles of wine and just hang out in the car (not uncommon in s.a.). virgillio begged to be taken home rather than listen to the women cackle away. eventually we ended up at "the golden horse" casino and danced to a guy playing the classics on guitar. he stopped at 0100, just 15 minutes after we got there.

so eventually rhona got in her own car and went home. joelene and i went back to her place to... talk.

the next day was virgillio's (and partly mine as well) birthday braai. we spent the whole of the morning and good portion of the afternoon getting all the necessary shit together for the braai and around 15:00 (a few hours before the sun goes down this time of year) the makeshift braai was up and cooking. a bunch of virgillio's university friends and soccer friends showed up. it was good times. one of the blokes there was a big black guy from new jersey. he's having his mind blown even more than i am. he says his american accent (very pronounced jersey accent) earns him better treatment than his skin color does. for example, if he hangs out with a south african crowd and doesn't open his mouth he gets a much lesser treatment than he does once they realize he's not an african but instead an american.

joelene spent the day working a booth at the "royal agricultural show" in town. it's the big event of the year. it's basically what we call the county fair. rides (many of the same ones you see at the boardwalk for a year or two), music, quilt exhibits, cows, horses... lots of teens dressed like sluts walking around in freezing weather. joelene had a vip pass from work and so she took me and we looked at all the amazing crafts the pietermaritzburgians had made. and naturally we ate junk food till it came out our ears. biltong (aka beef jerkey), mini donuts, boerewors (sausage) and some amarula in a flask i sneaked in.

after going on the ferris wheel, during which i talked incessantly about all the rust i could see on the bolts and how i didn't like the look of the foundation holding the whole thing up, we grabbed a hot chocolate or two and left.

sunday was my birthday and joelene wanted to take me to midmar dam for another braai / picnic. true to form, we got there a little late in the day but we were the only souls around so we had the place all to ourselves. boerewors, crisps, and some chakalaka. turns out 'chakalaka' is like mexican salsa just the african version (with extra corn and more onion and chili).

for the first time ever i remembered to take my camera so i took some pictures of midmar and, of course, the amazingly beautiful joelene. get this: she doesn't like having her picture taken. what is this world coming too? i told her that i either take a picture of her or i draw naked pictures of her.

i'm not sure i've mentioned this, but this country has a range of candy bars in the checkout line that serve as a means of communication for the conversationally inept (aka teens). candy bars where on the wrapper it says things like, "great date", "i love you", "i'm sorry", "do you like to download?", "am i always in trouble?", "can i.........................?", etc. i've never eaten one but joelene bought two for the braai. she gave me "happy birthday" and kept "you mean the world to me" for herself. these bars, called P.S. bars, are better than sex. "caramilk chocolate" with kit-kat-like wafer. i'm going to invent a patch of this candy bar and just ingest it constantly and slowly through my arm or lower back.

and speaking of better than sex... i'm old. 30 has hit me hard. my elbow feels sprained and today i found a collection of gray hairs in my sideburns... my most redeeming trait, my sense of humor, is working overtime to keep a positive spin on this rapid deterioration of my body... maybe i'll look wiser and even a little bad ass, eh? like race bannon, dr. quest's bodyguard... look out lizard people of the amazon!

i should remember the words of my old college flatmate tom mincy who told me, "don't worry about the gray hairs till they start showing up in your pubes."


if anyone's looking for something to send me, make it cialis and grecian formula please. i'll trade you a couple of those "i love you" P.S. candy bars in return. remember, candy bars don't lie.

and i guess i should end with what i assume has become the wildly popular headlines i see on the way to work, "KID KILLED BY GOAL". email me if you want to know what that means. but a little imagination is all it takes to figure out how this child met his fateful end.

so i hope you're all achieving your goals and not being crushed to death by them, both literally and metaphorically. cheers all.

The Weather is Here...

south africa just got hit by its first cold snap of the year. temperatures below zero with highs all across the country below 10 degrees celsius. but more on that later.

in the meantime here are two more speedbumps i've hit on the miscommunication highway here. the doctor asked me if i had ulcers in my stomach. i thought she was asking if i had "asses" in my stomach.

also when i was trying to describe the golden gate bridge and the visibility being reduced by fog, seko didn't understand why i couldn't see the bridge because of a thick "fuck".

on a new subject; lamposts here, every morning, have the day's headlines in them to encourage you to buy a newspaper from one of the people selling them at every intersection around town. they're usually pretty sensationalist, misleading or, in today's case, plain weird. "OUR BATTLE WITH EVIL CAT" where to start?

i guess metaphorically, we all battle our own "evil cat" every day. i recently overcame evil cat in the form of tonsillitis just in time for the recent cold snap. the cold snap has brought snow all over mountains all over south africa. some not too far from here. last weekend, despite the tonsillitis, i battled through the pain to end it with gaylene.

rewind: weeks ago, i wrote about this amazing girl i'd met, joelene annaline. good times, ice skating, etc. but then she stopped calling me and i went back online and found gaylene. gaylene is a 29 year-old half-indian girl who's all of 4'-10" and has spent most of the last decade being an au pere everywhere but in south africa. usa, italy, france, london,... she was also a little shy at first and, as the result of her travels, wasn't very familiar with the area. we picnicked at midmar dam on saturday and then had dinner in durban on sunday. gaylene was good company but i was the one starting the conversations and the one cracking wise.

despite the physical attraction, sparks never flew and, last saturday, i ended it at an ice cream parlor in the mall. one unexpected detail was that gaylene found the breakup unexpected. another thing that was unexpected was that joelene emailed me during my brief stint with gaylene. it turns out, believe it or not, that my cellphone had chosen not to receive her text messages and she'd interpreted my withdrawal as withdrawal. these coming week or months will see me trying to put the pieces back together with joelene and, if successful, seeing parts of africa untouched by the average tourist.

i hope you're all winning your battle with evil cat.

deep throat problems

have i been dating still? maybe, but you won't see the four letters "date" in this update.

here's how it starts: on sunday i thought it would be clever to jog to work to see if a.) i could do it and b.) how long it would take. having not exercised in close to four months i was surprised that it took me 22 minutes (about the same time it takes to drive if you leave at a bad time). so i was pleased and i walked back. my right knee was a little tender the next day and by the end of the work day i was feeling pretty out of it. seeing as i couldn't focus enough to do any engineering, i started filling out the health insurance forms on my desk. it's different over here so it's been taking me a long time to research and figure everything out.

i had plans with gaylene already and she didn't mind coming over even though i told her we would just watch a movie. she brought "disprin" (disolvable asprin). i tossed and turned all night and slept in till 10am. i drove her home at noon and returned to my bed where i would, for all intents and purposes, stay until friday morning. here's the quick breakdown.

Tuesday: hoped i had the 24 hour flu. my throat hurt like i'd eaten every pine cone in the sierra nevadas.

Wednesday: wanted to die. couldn't eat, couldn't drink. hurt too much. couldn't stomach anything either. in 48 hours i ate 5 oranges and drank some fruit juice (with vitamins).

Thursday: appetite came back. still hurt too bad to really swallow anything. watched the godfather series. but get this: the video store people (not film buffs by ANY stretch of the imagination) mislabeled the godfather discs. here's how they go: part 1, part 2 (disc 1 & disc 2), part 3). so naturally they grabbed "disc 2" and threw in the box labeled (2/4). so it took me awhile to realize that f.f. copolla didn't have a really backwards way of telling his story. by the end of "disc 2/4" i saw a lot of characters die for mistakes that were only alluded to. "disc 3/4" brought all the characters back to life for me and i got to watch them escape assassination attempts with barely a shrug from me. "i already saw him die at the airport". i also saw part 3 and enjoyed the hell out of it.

Friday: went to work at 0900 and spent hours just trying to find stuff. good stuff to do while you're sick i suppose. infinite patience is a trait that comes naturally with infinite slowness. i also turned the heater on full blast in my office and all my body aches were instantly gone! and so were my visitors. bridgit made me close the door so i wouldn't melt the whole place. oh, the heat also made me fall into a very deep sleep twice.

candice kept asking me why i didn't see a doctor and i had to remind her about the one time she tried to help me fill out the health insurance forms and got nowhere. she also called me a drama queen. how come drama king doesn't outrank the drama queen? is it like chess?

bridgit plopped a piece of paper on my desk. it was a doctor appointment across the street from where i live at 3:30pm so i got to kick off work a half hour early. the doctor took all of 0.2 seconds to say "tonsillitis". she diagnosed me before i even said "ahhhh".

the doctor prescribed me penicillin, some antibacterial throat lozenges, and some horse-pill pain-pills. without insurance, the doctors visit and the meds came to 360 rand (~50 dollars). as i'm writing this, the pain is gone and i just wish i'd gone to the doctor on tuesday but my experience with doctor's bills in the states (even with insurance) scared me away. with insurance it cost me over 100 bucks just to get my health screen done to move to south africa. but speaking of pain-killers, about five minutes ago i thought i felt the pain coming back so i popped some more. now my fingers are getting too heavy to type. so i'll end this post at that.