Two Things: Part one

two things:

i'll be the first to admit that america might not be most educated when it comes to stuff outside its own borders. in fact, people i meet here (read: young white people) don't have a problem reminding me that americans they've met in their travels to the united states are laughably ignorant of life here in south africa.
"americans think we have lions just walking around here! like they walk through our grass huts" and "were you surprised that we had airports here?"
they're right. the only time i'd ever thought of south africa as a teenager was when i was assigned to read "July's People". For those of you that have read "July's People", an exploration of the social impact left by apartheid in a fictional (nay, predicted) world that followed apartheid to its natural conclusion: war, you can only imagine what sort of outlandish misconceptions i had developed of the whole area. this was 1993... i think i was too busy trying to get the attention of anna, my first real girlfriend, for me to pay attention to mr. hilbert explaining the actual political climate in south africa when nadine gordimer wrote this book.
that being said, when confronted with these anecdotes about americans, i originally had trouble standing up for my people seeing as i was both totally confused and utterly disinterested with regards to south africa before i came here. after all, every time bugs bunny, elmer fudd, felix the cat or any pre- politically correct cartoon character found him/itself in subsaharan africa it was inevitable that one or more of the following occurred:
- the main character would end up in a giant metal pot with the subsequent carrots, celery and sneeze-inducing salt and pepper
- a thick-maned lion or bengal tiger would chase our hero from right to left and left to right several times. a joke would usually occur involving the lion's mane or the tiger's stripes.
- the black natives, wearing grass skirts and bones through their noses, would break into song... predictably a percussive jazz number. JAZZ?! we all know that if the same cartoons were being made today, the natives would be rapping and dancing like chris brown.
- if johnny quest or any hannah barbara cartoon drama were taking place, quicksand would rear its ugly head.
so in our collective defense, these were our impressions of africa.
but the best defense is a good offense. to defend the honour (whoops) of my fellow americans i now turn the tables on those who wish to ridicule you.
with alarming regularity, when i announce that i'm from california i get asked if i've met any celebrities. usually the drunker, younger and girl-er the person is, the more specific the celebrity. Johnnie Depp, Nicolas Cage, Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg top the list. Paul Reiser, Archimedes and Stephen Jay Gould round out the bottom.
so whenever i'm mocked for americans thinking that south africa is nothing but talking lions battling for the 'pridelands' with hyenas and using mackaws as their consulate, i now counter that the same south africans honestly think that Tom Cruise routinely borrows a cup of sugar from me.
this brings us to the picture at the top of this article: further fuel was added to my fire when my parents visited and, in fact, the nearby lion park had its fence blown over and the lions escaped.
who's living up to their stereotype now?!